Snappy Comebacks 2012
What They Say
Are you having a “blond” moment?
No, a “male” one!
You should be working behind a desk.
You should be working under the desk.
You’re right; that’s where the foreman generally works.
A foreman says to you, “Get his number later!”
I already have his number, but we were talking about work.
I did, he wanted me to give it to you.
If I wanted his number I could get it off the outhouse wall.
Did you sleep with the boss to get your job?
I had to do something, I don’t play golf.
Are you wearing underwear?
Yes, it’s your wife’s; She says “Hi!”
You took that job from a man.
That’s because a woman does the job better.
If I was able to take the job from him, he didn’t deserve it.
“She” can’t do anything right.
I can throw a wrench at your face right.
It might not be right, but it’s correct.
Consider the source.
Do you put out?
I like to work smart, not hard.
I put out the trash, I put out the dog and I can put out your lights?
Why don’t you stand there and look pretty?
Because that’s your job today.
Want me to help you with that?
You’ll have to put your purse down first.
No thank you, I want it done right!
You should be at home (washing dishes, raising children, going to school).
I thought you were my children.
Is this 1952?
You should be at home sewing ruffles on those jeans.
I hired a manny to do that.
Why aren’t you a teacher or a nurse?
‘Cause Hustler couldn’t afford me.
It pays more to be your babysitter.
If I help you with your chainsaw class will you work “harder”?
If you let me use your chainsaw on you, will you go away?
We can’t focus with you here. You’re a distraction.
Don’t blame me for your ADD.
Shouldn’t you focus on your work, not who you want to screw?
This is a job site, not a bar.
(When moved into a different job) Why’d you give up on your career?
I mastered mine, sorry to see you’re still here.
Are you PMSing?
Yes, and homicide would be justifiable.
I’m out of estrogen and I have a gun
You know where they got the word women? Twomen and knocked the “T” off.
You work hard for a “girl.”
I know you said “pearl” or “Shirl” because you don’t want your butt kicked by a girl.
At least I’m not standing around pretending to be macho.
You only got this job because you’re a woman/Mexican/black.
Then why don’t you get a sex change.
They hire handicapped too, but I didn’t know mentally handicapped qualified.
Damn, those are some big tits!
The response isn’t appropriate for our website, but send a request to email@example.com and she will send you the response that the women in our seminar voted the #1 snappy comeback.
Two of my all-time favorites
- 1.“In order for you to insult me, I’d have to first value your opinion.”
- 2.“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“When I want your opinion, I’ll slap it out of you.”
“If you had a brain, you’d be dangerous.”
“You don’t sleep at my house, I don’t care what you think.”